Lippy Stuff

It's hard to believe it's only been three weeks since we said goodbye to Abi. It feels exponentially longer than that. It's impossible to put into words how her loss has impacted me. Believe me, I've tried. There's just this nagging, lonely emptiness; an emptiness I didn't see coming, that hit me like a freight train barreling down the tracks. I'm not sure what I expected this to feel like. I honestly didn't really allow myself to think about it. I couldn't. If I had there would have been no way I could have made such an impossible decision, one that needed to be made for her.

These three weeks without her have shown me a lot about myself. She made me a better person. Maybe to some that seems silly, but loving her and taking care of her opened my heart. In many ways I'd say she saved me from myself, forced me to keep my heart open in times when I could have easily sealed it off. She got me out of bed in those time when I felt like I couldn't go on. I'm so thankful I had her in my life.

Now it's time to move on. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have this ache in my heart for her for a long time. That's just how it goes when you open your heart to love. But Matt and I are ready to experience that happy puppy love again, and we can't stand the emptiness in our house when we come home from work every day. No, no dog will ever replace Abi; it would be impossible to do that and we would never try. However, we're ready to hear the pitter-patter of puppy claws in our house again, so we hope to be sharing pictures of our new family member sometime in the near future. Stay tuned.