Lippy Stuff

After everything we'd been through last week Matt and I needed to escape the emptiness of our house, so we packed up and headed to a nearby state park for a spontaneous camping trip Friday night. We arrived at the park after dark and took the first, most secluded spot we could find. Little did we know that our "secluded" spot was two spots over from Loud and Stupid.

Matt had recently acquired a 2-person camping hammock, a hammock made from parachute material and designed to sleep 2. We decided that the cool evening would be the perfect time to try it out. After setting that and its special mosquito net up, we settled into our hammock to relax. We chatted for a while and must have drifted off (in spite of Loud and Stupid over there), because the next thing I knew Matt sat straight up, which is quite a feat in a hammock, and screamed "What the hell!" I instantly bolted awake, trying to figure out what was going on. Suddenly I felt something moving underneath the hammock, and heard growling just to the left of my head. I freaked out. Which made Matt freak out even more.

What happened next is both funny and terrifying. Imagine the two of us, taco-ed up in a hammock, Matt whipping his windmill arms trying to hit whatever it was that was "attacking" us while I screamed at the top of my lungs, swinging my arms with equal furry. We're both blind and unable to reach our glasses or a flashlight. All the while something is growling at us from the dark and moving around under our hammock. Additionally, I'm thinking in my head, "Hey, I'm screaming like I'm being murdered and NOBODY is coming to see if we're OK. We are screwed." At just about that point Loud calls out to his dog to "get over here". Jack-ass left his dog off leash in the middle of the night and he'd wandered over to our site, presumably to sniff out the armadillo we'd seen earlier. I'm sure this incident lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. I have never felt such an intense fear in my entire life.

It took us both a good hour to fall back asleep, what with all the adrenaline coursing through our veins. That and the fact that every sound we heard now felt like a threat to our humanity. I still feel a bit traumatized from the whole experience even though I know we were never in any real danger. Fear that intense tends to leave a mark on you. I'm a bit nervous about our next camping experience, and I can promise you there will be no scary stories around the campfire.

This is not an award I would usually get. Most days I'm a fairly externally passive person. Yes, I may talk a lot of shit when I'm alone, but when the rubber meets the road I'm more than likely going to do whatever I have to do to smooth things over. Meaning I will let you take that parking space I was waiting for but you stole like a douche bag while I curse you out from the non-confrontational safety of my car.

However, today is not one of those days. Today I am exhausted, physically and emotionally, and I have nothing to give to anyone or any situation that demands my energy. Today I don't have the will to fight the Inner Me that wants to let you know you stole my parking spot and would you kindly move. And so today, Inner Me will get to have her way.

On the way back from a team service project this morning, my coworkers and I decided to stop for coffee. This particular coffee shop is notorious for its limited parking, but what do you know, we found a spot right as we pulled up. I waited for the oncoming traffic to go by before pulling into the spot, and just as I was about to pull in this guy pulled around the corner and whipped into my spot. The only available spot. And then he just sat there in his car.

I was pissed, and proceeded with my standard non-confrontational cursing-from-my-car, WITH my coworkers in my car, while I searched for another spot. But there was none. And that's when I snapped. Inner Me was all, No, Dude took my spot. I can't take this today. I want my spot. I do not want to have to walk 2 blocks for my coffee when I had a front row spot. Inner Me decided I shouldn't take this, so Inner Me whipped back around to the spot. Dude was still sitting in his car! Inner Me parked behind him, got out of the car and knocked on his window. After a brief but polite conversation Dude acknowledged the shitiness (his words, not mine) of his actions and offered to move. Oh yes, Inner Me got her parking spot.

My coworkers were a bit surprised by my actions, but nobody was as surprised as I was. Very very non-standard behavior for me, but I have to admit I do not feel bad about it. I promise I was totally polite to him. He was also very kind to move. And it made me think that the next time I experience someone taking out their bad day on me I should maybe cut them some slack. Who knows what they could be going through?

Why is this blog called "Lippy Stuff"? To answer that question, we have to go back a bit.

In my last semester of college my hormones decided to conduct a final assault on my body, and by doing so 1) turned my hair from board straight and easy to manage into just wavy enough to be a funkified mess if I don't do something about it every day; and 2) turned my face into a pock-marked wasteland. It was awful. At the age of 21 and about to enter the professional world I was dealing with what most people dealt with at 15. I had to do something about it. After trying every dermatological antibiotic available, I was left with the dreaded Accutane.

If you're not familiar with Accutane, it is a horrible, horrible drug with some of the most horrendous side-effects I've ever seen in a medication approved by the FDA. With that said, I also consider it a miracle drug as it completely cleared up my acne, so much so that people who meet me now cannot believe I ever had to be on it. That's how great my skin looks now.

The worst side-effect I experienced from taking Accutane was dry, chapped lips. I'm not just talking a little chapped, or even dry cracked lips. I'm talking stranded in the desert for a week straight with no water parched. My lips would peel off in layers. It was gross. Horrible. Disgusting. To help with the dry gross grossness of it all my doctor recommended using Aquaphor Healing Ointment. And oh, the bliss of putting specially formulated petroleum jelly on my lips. It made a HUGE difference.

The only problem is, ever since the Accutane experience, I must have some kind of lip ointment on AT ALL TIMES. If my lips start to get dry and I have nothing readily available to put on them, I will stop whatever I am doing until I find something, some kind of lip ointment, anything, ANY LIPPY STUFF WILL DO! You could say I'm a little bit OCD about it, but it's not my fault. The drugs made me this way.